Hey, my name's Yugi Mutou.
Age 16 and a walking disaster zone.
-Home schooled thanks to a little good luck
-Currently in possession of the millennium puzzle + post Battle City deck
-Living in Scooby Gang HQ
-Working part time at Lúxuria Club for Flo & the Game Shop with Yami

 

Junior and Bamf's Excellent Adventure 2: Medieval Boogaloo

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freshprinceofdomino:

bamfofthecards:

freshprinceofdomino:

bamfofthecards:

freshprinceofdomino:

bamfofthecards:

freshprinceofdomino:

bamfofthecards:

 

"They don’t call this the Dark Ages for nothing," he sighed as they waded through the rubble and refuse. "Well let’s just not get kidnapped, okay? There are crazy people in this neck of history and I like myself unmolested."

"Oh come on what’s the worst thing that could happen to us?" They were nearing the town square now, the amount of women still increasing but he’d yet to see a guy. Oh wait! There was… No, no just a really unfortunate looking woman. Owch. "I mean worst comes to worst you can just jump us out of here right? Or we can convince them we’re priests with magic or something, in Khemet traveling priests were always well received." They made excellent entertainers at feasts.

"They could think we’re satanic, that we’re witches in service of the devil. If history books are anything to go by strangers are fucked when things turn sour. These guys are legendarily paranoid." He murmured. "Well… I can jump us a short distance but I can only do big jumps every other day or so. So we can’t go home for at least twenty-four hours."

"Pshhh and like what are the odds of that happening? If we get accused of being witches I’ll do your chores for TWO months, just to prove you’re the paranoid one." They were here on a simple mission, find a cock sock or a lack of one and then poof out easy as- "Wait WHAT?!" His shout roused some crows that were feasting on a nearby trash heap (pile of corpses?) as well as drew even more attention to the two of them, but he was too busy yelling at Bamf to notice. "What do you mean 24 hours?!?! You never said that?! Why wouldn’t you mention that?! I don’t want to be stuck in this dump for a whole day!"

"Oh you are so on!" Knowing their luck they’d be accused of witchcraft before they rounded the next corner. "Oh shhh," he hissed, shoving at him. "It’ll be fine, it’ll be fine, we just… well we’ll learn more about history, it’ll be good for us. It’s not like we’ve never slept in the woods before."

"How will it be fine?!?!?" His volume only seemed to have increased, and a lone figure slowly began to make its way towards the boys as Junior’s shouting continued. "The last time you made us sleep in the woods we came across an actual witch! And this so totally cancels our bet about being accused of witchcraf-"

"What speaketh thee of witchcraft?" It was a woman, older and a little bit chubbier considering the times but compared to most of the peasants they had seen she was marginally better dressed. "And who beith you who doth come to our village dressed in such strange manner shouting evil words?"

Bamf was as tangled up in the argument as Junior, blissfully ignorant of the steadily approaching figure as they started a royal hollering match. “She wasn’t a witch! She was a giant fucking spider godeater and for your informati—-“

He glanced, gawking slightly. Ah shit. “Good going genius,” he grumbled, shifting back towards the woman. “Nothing Ma’am, we were just going.”

"This is literally all your fault!" He hissed at the other through clenched teeth, a fake smile plastered to his face as the chubby woman stared them down.

Elinor Clopton, wife of the esteemed Lord Robert Clopton liked to imagine she ran a pretty tight ship. The villagers were kept in their place through taxation and fear, and in the past five years things had been wonderful and peaceful and without any sort of nuisance whatsoever. So when that whore of a bakers wife had come knocking on her door with whisperings of strangers dressed as devil worshipers she knew she had to nip the problem in the bud, lest it spread and sully their town’s good reputation. If that happened she might not receive an invite to her greater lord’s harvest feast, and the handsome knight who had been helping her husband keep the peace in the village might skip town before she got a chance to get a taste.

And so staring down at these scrawny young boys as they whispered of gods and witches she knew they must be made an example of. “And where prey tell were you headed? Off to preform… witchcraft.” The last part was not a question but an accusation, and by now the rumors of the boy’s arrival had spread through the town and approaching were just the men she wanted to see, her husband and the holy Priest Samuel.

Bamf took a deep inhalation of air. This woman was obviously someone important but unfortunately for him he didn’t know how or why she was so and that put him in a precarious situation.

"No, no, Ma’am we were just looking for the road to the next town over." He swore, anything to get them out of the place. "My friend here is very worrisome, he’s always terrified we’re going to meet a witch. It would be frightful." Fuck if he tried any harder he was going to fall over in on himself. He didn’t like the way she looked at them though.

"Yes yes that’s exactly right!" My friend here knows someone who knows someone who knows someone’s cousin who met a witch who called herself godeater and was just telling me about it so we could be on guard as we left this village and traveled to the next! Because we’re leaving! Right now!" Junior was doing his best to feign calm but his excessive sweating and nervous hand wringing just might have given them away.

"Even so such contact with one who has met one who has met a witch who still lives would indeed curse the person and all they meet, which would include you so says the Lord." Stepping forth from what was growing to be a crowd of people was a rail thin man with a wispy beard, a large golden cross around his neck that he clutched at fervently. With him was a robust man whose higher status was betrayed by his non-shit stained clothing, complete with a magnificent crimson codpiece. "The good brother Samuel is very wise in such manners, constable, seize them! I will have them tried for witchcraft in the name of our king!

Okay so, on the plus side they had irredeemable proof that cocksocks totally existed and were worn which Bamf made sure to point out but on the down side they were getting tried for witchcraft. Bamf’s mother had been tried twice and almost burnt once so, if anything, he was just following the family legacy (nothing he ought to tell these folks about but interesting to note)

"Ah shit," he mumbled, holding up his hands peacefully. What else could he do? He didn’t want to jump out and stir a complete panic and besides where would they jump to? He’d only seen a little bit of the surrounding landscape. This was totally what they got for yelling so loudly he supposed.

Junior and Bamf's Excellent Adventure 2: Medieval Boogaloo

freshprinceofdomino:

bamfofthecards:

freshprinceofdomino:

bamfofthecards:

freshprinceofdomino:

bamfofthecards:

freshprinceofdomino:

bamfofthecards:

 

"They don’t call this the Dark Ages for nothing," he sighed as they waded through the rubble and refuse. "Well let’s just not get kidnapped, okay? There are crazy people in this neck of history and I like myself unmolested."

"Oh come on what’s the worst thing that could happen to us?" They were nearing the town square now, the amount of women still increasing but he’d yet to see a guy. Oh wait! There was… No, no just a really unfortunate looking woman. Owch. "I mean worst comes to worst you can just jump us out of here right? Or we can convince them we’re priests with magic or something, in Khemet traveling priests were always well received." They made excellent entertainers at feasts.

"They could think we’re satanic, that we’re witches in service of the devil. If history books are anything to go by strangers are fucked when things turn sour. These guys are legendarily paranoid." He murmured. "Well… I can jump us a short distance but I can only do big jumps every other day or so. So we can’t go home for at least twenty-four hours."

"Pshhh and like what are the odds of that happening? If we get accused of being witches I’ll do your chores for TWO months, just to prove you’re the paranoid one." They were here on a simple mission, find a cock sock or a lack of one and then poof out easy as- "Wait WHAT?!" His shout roused some crows that were feasting on a nearby trash heap (pile of corpses?) as well as drew even more attention to the two of them, but he was too busy yelling at Bamf to notice. "What do you mean 24 hours?!?! You never said that?! Why wouldn’t you mention that?! I don’t want to be stuck in this dump for a whole day!"

"Oh you are so on!" Knowing their luck they’d be accused of witchcraft before they rounded the next corner. "Oh shhh," he hissed, shoving at him. "It’ll be fine, it’ll be fine, we just… well we’ll learn more about history, it’ll be good for us. It’s not like we’ve never slept in the woods before."

"How will it be fine?!?!?" His volume only seemed to have increased, and a lone figure slowly began to make its way towards the boys as Junior’s shouting continued. "The last time you made us sleep in the woods we came across an actual witch! And this so totally cancels our bet about being accused of witchcraf-"

"What speaketh thee of witchcraft?" It was a woman, older and a little bit chubbier considering the times but compared to most of the peasants they had seen she was marginally better dressed. "And who beith you who doth come to our village dressed in such strange manner shouting evil words?"

Bamf was as tangled up in the argument as Junior, blissfully ignorant of the steadily approaching figure as they started a royal hollering match. “She wasn’t a witch! She was a giant fucking spider godeater and for your informati—-“

He glanced, gawking slightly. Ah shit. “Good going genius,” he grumbled, shifting back towards the woman. “Nothing Ma’am, we were just going.”

"This is literally all your fault!" He hissed at the other through clenched teeth, a fake smile plastered to his face as the chubby woman stared them down.

Elinor Clopton, wife of the esteemed Lord Robert Clopton liked to imagine she ran a pretty tight ship. The villagers were kept in their place through taxation and fear, and in the past five years things had been wonderful and peaceful and without any sort of nuisance whatsoever. So when that whore of a bakers wife had come knocking on her door with whisperings of strangers dressed as devil worshipers she knew she had to nip the problem in the bud, lest it spread and sully their town’s good reputation. If that happened she might not receive an invite to her greater lord’s harvest feast, and the handsome knight who had been helping her husband keep the peace in the village might skip town before she got a chance to get a taste.

And so staring down at these scrawny young boys as they whispered of gods and witches she knew they must be made an example of. “And where prey tell were you headed? Off to preform… witchcraft.” The last part was not a question but an accusation, and by now the rumors of the boy’s arrival had spread through the town and approaching were just the men she wanted to see, her husband and the holy Priest Samuel.

Bamf took a deep inhalation of air. This woman was obviously someone important but unfortunately for him he didn’t know how or why she was so and that put him in a precarious situation.

"No, no, Ma’am we were just looking for the road to the next town over." He swore, anything to get them out of the place. "My friend here is very worrisome, he’s always terrified we’re going to meet a witch. It would be frightful." Fuck if he tried any harder he was going to fall over in on himself. He didn’t like the way she looked at them though.

Junior and Bamf's Excellent Adventure 2: Medieval Boogaloo

freshprinceofdomino:

bamfofthecards:

freshprinceofdomino:

bamfofthecards:

freshprinceofdomino:

bamfofthecards:

 

"They don’t call this the Dark Ages for nothing," he sighed as they waded through the rubble and refuse. "Well let’s just not get kidnapped, okay? There are crazy people in this neck of history and I like myself unmolested."

"Oh come on what’s the worst thing that could happen to us?" They were nearing the town square now, the amount of women still increasing but he’d yet to see a guy. Oh wait! There was… No, no just a really unfortunate looking woman. Owch. "I mean worst comes to worst you can just jump us out of here right? Or we can convince them we’re priests with magic or something, in Khemet traveling priests were always well received." They made excellent entertainers at feasts.

"They could think we’re satanic, that we’re witches in service of the devil. If history books are anything to go by strangers are fucked when things turn sour. These guys are legendarily paranoid." He murmured. "Well… I can jump us a short distance but I can only do big jumps every other day or so. So we can’t go home for at least twenty-four hours."

"Pshhh and like what are the odds of that happening? If we get accused of being witches I’ll do your chores for TWO months, just to prove you’re the paranoid one." They were here on a simple mission, find a cock sock or a lack of one and then poof out easy as- "Wait WHAT?!" His shout roused some crows that were feasting on a nearby trash heap (pile of corpses?) as well as drew even more attention to the two of them, but he was too busy yelling at Bamf to notice. "What do you mean 24 hours?!?! You never said that?! Why wouldn’t you mention that?! I don’t want to be stuck in this dump for a whole day!"

"Oh you are so on!" Knowing their luck they’d be accused of witchcraft before they rounded the next corner. "Oh shhh," he hissed, shoving at him. "It’ll be fine, it’ll be fine, we just… well we’ll learn more about history, it’ll be good for us. It’s not like we’ve never slept in the woods before."

"How will it be fine?!?!?" His volume only seemed to have increased, and a lone figure slowly began to make its way towards the boys as Junior’s shouting continued. "The last time you made us sleep in the woods we came across an actual witch! And this so totally cancels our bet about being accused of witchcraf-"

"What speaketh thee of witchcraft?" It was a woman, older and a little bit chubbier considering the times but compared to most of the peasants they had seen she was marginally better dressed. "And who beith you who doth come to our village dressed in such strange manner shouting evil words?"

Bamf was as tangled up in the argument as Junior, blissfully ignorant of the steadily approaching figure as they started a royal hollering match. “She wasn’t a witch! She was a giant fucking spider godeater and for your informati—-“

He glanced, gawking slightly. Ah shit. “Good going genius,” he grumbled, shifting back towards the woman. “Nothing Ma’am, we were just going.”

Junior and Bamf's Excellent Adventure 2: Medieval Boogaloo

freshprinceofdomino:

bamfofthecards:

freshprinceofdomino:

bamfofthecards:

 

"They don’t call this the Dark Ages for nothing," he sighed as they waded through the rubble and refuse. "Well let’s just not get kidnapped, okay? There are crazy people in this neck of history and I like myself unmolested."

"Oh come on what’s the worst thing that could happen to us?" They were nearing the town square now, the amount of women still increasing but he’d yet to see a guy. Oh wait! There was… No, no just a really unfortunate looking woman. Owch. "I mean worst comes to worst you can just jump us out of here right? Or we can convince them we’re priests with magic or something, in Khemet traveling priests were always well received." They made excellent entertainers at feasts.

"They could think we’re satanic, that we’re witches in service of the devil. If history books are anything to go by strangers are fucked when things turn sour. These guys are legendarily paranoid." He murmured. "Well… I can jump us a short distance but I can only do big jumps every other day or so. So we can’t go home for at least twenty-four hours."

"Pshhh and like what are the odds of that happening? If we get accused of being witches I’ll do your chores for TWO months, just to prove you’re the paranoid one." They were here on a simple mission, find a cock sock or a lack of one and then poof out easy as- "Wait WHAT?!" His shout roused some crows that were feasting on a nearby trash heap (pile of corpses?) as well as drew even more attention to the two of them, but he was too busy yelling at Bamf to notice. "What do you mean 24 hours?!?! You never said that?! Why wouldn’t you mention that?! I don’t want to be stuck in this dump for a whole day!"

"Oh you are so on!" Knowing their luck they’d be accused of witchcraft before they rounded the next corner. "Oh shhh," he hissed, shoving at him. "It’ll be fine, it’ll be fine, we just… well we’ll learn more about history, it’ll be good for us. It’s not like we’ve never slept in the woods before."

Junior and Bamf's Excellent Adventure 2: Medieval Boogaloo

freshprinceofdomino:

bamfofthecards:

 

"They don’t call this the Dark Ages for nothing," he sighed as they waded through the rubble and refuse. "Well let’s just not get kidnapped, okay? There are crazy people in this neck of history and I like myself unmolested."

"Oh come on what’s the worst thing that could happen to us?" They were nearing the town square now, the amount of women still increasing but he’d yet to see a guy. Oh wait! There was… No, no just a really unfortunate looking woman. Owch. "I mean worst comes to worst you can just jump us out of here right? Or we can convince them we’re priests with magic or something, in Khemet traveling priests were always well received." They made excellent entertainers at feasts.

"They could think we’re satanic, that we’re witches in service of the devil. If history books are anything to go by strangers are fucked when things turn sour. These guys are legendarily paranoid." He murmured. "Well… I can jump us a short distance but I can only do big jumps every other day or so. So we can’t go home for at least twenty-four hours."

Junior and Bamf's Excellent Adventure 2: Medieval Boogaloo

freshprinceofdomino:

bamfofthecards:

freshprinceofdomino:

bamfofthecards:

freshprinceofdomino:

bamfofthecards:

freshprinceofdomino:

bamfofthecards:

 

"I didn’t come up with the name!" He hollered down the hallway as Junior shuffled off scratching his ass. Snapping shut the laptop he put his wallet and his phone into the top drawer of his dresser. He wouldn’t need them in the past. His dagger he thrust in his boot, his god’s hair waistlet and puzzle checked, and then he was ready to go! Rock and roll! "Hurry up Ugly!!"

"I’m coming whoreface, these fucking pants take forever to get on!" He reappeared in the doorway, the stunning picture of someone who was about to get some kickass cupcakes. "And a much better name would have been cocksock. I’m calling it that now." His shit eating grin was back on his face as Junior all but skipped into the room and linked arms with Bamf. "Ready to spend 4 hours straight in the kitchen?"

"That’s cause you buy the tight ones Assmouth!" He hollered. They were so completely inconsiderate of who else might be home and might, worse, be sleeping. "Cocksock, codpiece, I don’t care so long as you see that it’s real." He shoved the other’s shoulder. "You fucking wish." He snorted. "Alright," he started his typical pre-jump countdown, "ten, nine, eight, sev—- JUMP."

Bamf had trouble aiming, that was no secret, but when they found themselves groggy on the lush green hillside he suspected they might actually be on target this time. A village sat a little ways down the hill reeking of feces and piss and cheap beer and, sure enough, it looked Medieval. “Ha!” He grinned. “I got us here!”

This was the second biggest jump Bamf had ever put him through, and the first he had been fully conscious for, so upon landing Junior had to do his best to keep from adding to the stench that surrounded them by throwing up. It was tough. “I never said you couldn’t do it moron, I figured after you jumped us halfway across the fuckin galaxy you could at least manage a few hundred years.” He was still secretly impressed, secretly, and after he was certain he wasn’t going to toss his cookies he stood on wobbly legs. “Well then c’mon, let’s go down there so I can win this bet.”

Luckily Bamf’s jump made him giddy rather than sickly or else they’d both be in trouble. “Shut up, it’s hard to aim you know!” He huffed, hand on hip. “Yeah, yeah, you keep dreaming.” He snorted leading them down through the grass towards the hard earth of the village itself. The women were out mainly; getting bread and milk and passing news. The men must’ve been in the fields.

"Mmmhmm suuure." What could be so hard about it? You pick a spot and go there, sounded pretty easy to him. As they made their way closer to the small village Junior noticed an increase in stench but he wasn’t too focused on it, instead, his eyes were glued to every passing crotch he saw, on the hunt for cocksocks. "I don’t seee anyyyyy." He trilled under his voice, keeping behind Bamf so that if the other stepped in some though foul he could avoid it.

"That’s because these are women." He grunted. "We need to find some men before we can prove or disprove the cocksock." He grasped Junior’s wrist and tugged them off between the little streets. "God it smells like ass here and is it just me or are they looking nervous round us?"

"Hey I don’t judge-uwah!" He nearly tripped over what appeared to be a rat carcass as Bamf tugged him along, now that he wasn’t staring at pelvises, suddenly more aware of the people staring at them. "I thought you said we’re in a time after Khemet? Cause from what I’m seeing it looks like things have gone backwards." He had never seen excrement lining the streets when he had snuck out of the palace back home. "They’re probably just astounded by my handsomeness. Also strangers walking into town are never really welcome no matter what time period one would think."

"They don’t call this the Dark Ages for nothing," he sighed as they waded through the rubble and refuse. "Well let’s just not get kidnapped, okay? There are crazy people in this neck of history and I like myself unmolested."

Junior and Bamf's Excellent Adventure 2: Medieval Boogaloo

freshprinceofdomino:

bamfofthecards:

freshprinceofdomino:

bamfofthecards:

freshprinceofdomino:

bamfofthecards:

 

"I didn’t come up with the name!" He hollered down the hallway as Junior shuffled off scratching his ass. Snapping shut the laptop he put his wallet and his phone into the top drawer of his dresser. He wouldn’t need them in the past. His dagger he thrust in his boot, his god’s hair waistlet and puzzle checked, and then he was ready to go! Rock and roll! "Hurry up Ugly!!"

"I’m coming whoreface, these fucking pants take forever to get on!" He reappeared in the doorway, the stunning picture of someone who was about to get some kickass cupcakes. "And a much better name would have been cocksock. I’m calling it that now." His shit eating grin was back on his face as Junior all but skipped into the room and linked arms with Bamf. "Ready to spend 4 hours straight in the kitchen?"

"That’s cause you buy the tight ones Assmouth!" He hollered. They were so completely inconsiderate of who else might be home and might, worse, be sleeping. "Cocksock, codpiece, I don’t care so long as you see that it’s real." He shoved the other’s shoulder. "You fucking wish." He snorted. "Alright," he started his typical pre-jump countdown, "ten, nine, eight, sev—- JUMP."

Bamf had trouble aiming, that was no secret, but when they found themselves groggy on the lush green hillside he suspected they might actually be on target this time. A village sat a little ways down the hill reeking of feces and piss and cheap beer and, sure enough, it looked Medieval. “Ha!” He grinned. “I got us here!”

This was the second biggest jump Bamf had ever put him through, and the first he had been fully conscious for, so upon landing Junior had to do his best to keep from adding to the stench that surrounded them by throwing up. It was tough. “I never said you couldn’t do it moron, I figured after you jumped us halfway across the fuckin galaxy you could at least manage a few hundred years.” He was still secretly impressed, secretly, and after he was certain he wasn’t going to toss his cookies he stood on wobbly legs. “Well then c’mon, let’s go down there so I can win this bet.”

Luckily Bamf’s jump made him giddy rather than sickly or else they’d both be in trouble. “Shut up, it’s hard to aim you know!” He huffed, hand on hip. “Yeah, yeah, you keep dreaming.” He snorted leading them down through the grass towards the hard earth of the village itself. The women were out mainly; getting bread and milk and passing news. The men must’ve been in the fields.

"Mmmhmm suuure." What could be so hard about it? You pick a spot and go there, sounded pretty easy to him. As they made their way closer to the small village Junior noticed an increase in stench but he wasn’t too focused on it, instead, his eyes were glued to every passing crotch he saw, on the hunt for cocksocks. "I don’t seee anyyyyy." He trilled under his voice, keeping behind Bamf so that if the other stepped in some though foul he could avoid it.

"That’s because these are women." He grunted. "We need to find some men before we can prove or disprove the cocksock." He grasped Junior’s wrist and tugged them off between the little streets. "God it smells like ass here and is it just me or are they looking nervous round us?"

Junior and Bamf's Excellent Adventure 2: Medieval Boogaloo

freshprinceofdomino:

bamfofthecards:

freshprinceofdomino:

bamfofthecards:

 

"I didn’t come up with the name!" He hollered down the hallway as Junior shuffled off scratching his ass. Snapping shut the laptop he put his wallet and his phone into the top drawer of his dresser. He wouldn’t need them in the past. His dagger he thrust in his boot, his god’s hair waistlet and puzzle checked, and then he was ready to go! Rock and roll! "Hurry up Ugly!!"

"I’m coming whoreface, these fucking pants take forever to get on!" He reappeared in the doorway, the stunning picture of someone who was about to get some kickass cupcakes. "And a much better name would have been cocksock. I’m calling it that now." His shit eating grin was back on his face as Junior all but skipped into the room and linked arms with Bamf. "Ready to spend 4 hours straight in the kitchen?"

"That’s cause you buy the tight ones Assmouth!" He hollered. They were so completely inconsiderate of who else might be home and might, worse, be sleeping. "Cocksock, codpiece, I don’t care so long as you see that it’s real." He shoved the other’s shoulder. "You fucking wish." He snorted. "Alright," he started his typical pre-jump countdown, "ten, nine, eight, sev—- JUMP."

Bamf had trouble aiming, that was no secret, but when they found themselves groggy on the lush green hillside he suspected they might actually be on target this time. A village sat a little ways down the hill reeking of feces and piss and cheap beer and, sure enough, it looked Medieval. “Ha!” He grinned. “I got us here!”

This was the second biggest jump Bamf had ever put him through, and the first he had been fully conscious for, so upon landing Junior had to do his best to keep from adding to the stench that surrounded them by throwing up. It was tough. “I never said you couldn’t do it moron, I figured after you jumped us halfway across the fuckin galaxy you could at least manage a few hundred years.” He was still secretly impressed, secretly, and after he was certain he wasn’t going to toss his cookies he stood on wobbly legs. “Well then c’mon, let’s go down there so I can win this bet.”

Luckily Bamf’s jump made him giddy rather than sickly or else they’d both be in trouble. “Shut up, it’s hard to aim you know!” He huffed, hand on hip. “Yeah, yeah, you keep dreaming.” He snorted leading them down through the grass towards the hard earth of the village itself. The women were out mainly; getting bread and milk and passing news. The men must’ve been in the fields.

Junior and Bamf's Excellent Adventure 2: Medieval Boogaloo

freshprinceofdomino:

bamfofthecards:

 

"I didn’t come up with the name!" He hollered down the hallway as Junior shuffled off scratching his ass. Snapping shut the laptop he put his wallet and his phone into the top drawer of his dresser. He wouldn’t need them in the past. His dagger he thrust in his boot, his god’s hair waistlet and puzzle checked, and then he was ready to go! Rock and roll! "Hurry up Ugly!!"

"I’m coming whoreface, these fucking pants take forever to get on!" He reappeared in the doorway, the stunning picture of someone who was about to get some kickass cupcakes. "And a much better name would have been cocksock. I’m calling it that now." His shit eating grin was back on his face as Junior all but skipped into the room and linked arms with Bamf. "Ready to spend 4 hours straight in the kitchen?"

"That’s cause you buy the tight ones Assmouth!" He hollered. They were so completely inconsiderate of who else might be home and might, worse, be sleeping. "Cocksock, codpiece, I don’t care so long as you see that it’s real." He shoved the other’s shoulder. "You fucking wish." He snorted. "Alright," he started his typical pre-jump countdown, "ten, nine, eight, sev—- JUMP."

Bamf had trouble aiming, that was no secret, but when they found themselves groggy on the lush green hillside he suspected they might actually be on target this time. A village sat a little ways down the hill reeking of feces and piss and cheap beer and, sure enough, it looked Medieval. “Ha!” He grinned. “I got us here!”